Sunday, September 20, 2015


I wish I wasn't such a bonehead. 
It's hard for me to trust You because it means I'm not in control.

Although, I'm not entirely sure why that bothers me.

I don't do a great job on my own.
I have failed relationships and friendships. 
I lose my patience quickly.
I forget my "resolves" 20 minutes after I make them.

But somehow even though I suck at controlling things - it makes me feel better.

Like if I know what's coming or how something will end I can prepare myself and then I won't feel it as much - but it goes both ways.

It might not hurt as much but it also won't be as joyful.

Sometimes trusting You also feels like I'm doing anything.
Like I'm not being proactive. 

Kind of like I walked into a party and I'm the first to arrive and I'm just waiting for everyone else and it's super awkward. 

I've also noticed that going after You with everything I have is one of the hardest, best, and somehow easiest things I've done. 

You bring joy and You bring hope

In the days to come I have a feeling it'll be easy to feel like there is no hope.
But, nothing compares to the joy that's coming. 

I don't need to live in fear. I don't need to be scared. There's no reason for anxiety or really anything except peace.

Jesus is in all the details. God is smarter than I am. 

You are the greatest adventure. You are the one who makes my soul dance. Your plan is smart, organized, and perfect.

Your love is extravagant. 

Truly the best is yet to come!! Thank you for Your perfect love!! I like You and I love You! 

So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while.
1 Peter 1:6