Wednesday, June 17, 2015


I have no catchy intro to this. But I don't think I usually do, so theres that. As usual, I'm a bundle of emotions. And to be completely honest, I've been in tears so many times this week. Which so isn't my thing.

But see the thing of it is, I'm learning I'm actually a basket case. Which may not come as a surprise to anyone. Except me.

I've believed so many lies for SO many years...some my entire life...that silenced my voice. I became passive. And God showed me that I have to change my thinking, RENEW my mind. So I got serious about it. And can I just say - this has been the most exhausting week I've had in a long time. As soon as I made that decision and acted on it, it's as if I've been under constant attack. Waking up at stupid hours, tossing and turning, hearing lies being yelled in my ears, constant panic attacks. Something in me told me to keep going. Thieves only come to loaded vaults!! And I don't say any of this for your sympathy or to make myself look awesome. My point is that GOD IS SO GOOD. Because slowly but surely, in the midst of all lies, there's that still small voice telling me the truth. And in a WEEK, He's done miracles in my heart.

JESUS CAN BE TRUSTED. With my whole heart. With all my dreams. All my desires. Even the ones I really want.

HE DOES WHAT HE SAYS HE CAN DO. He loves so perfectly I can't stand it.

One of the only things I'm completely sure of is that I know absolutely nothing. Even the things I'm good at, theres so much I don't know. It's a lie to believe that I'm defined by anything other than Christ! It's a lie to believe that fighting is too hard! That it does nothing!! If you get nothing out of this, just know Jesus is always, ALWAYS worth it...that God is at work!!!

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